


Coming home

by HiAjay



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Erica, Alive Hale Family, Alive Vernon Boyd, Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire, Alternate Universe - Werewolves Are Known, Derek and Stiles are Mates, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Military!Derek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 07:45:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1042201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiAjay/pseuds/HiAjay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek is leaving.</p><p>Well, Stiles just wishes it didn’t mean he had to leave. Stiles wished the president would call and tell him that Derek can unpack and stay. But the likely hood of that happening is slim to none. Though he’d prefer that call more than waiting up all night, for that call.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Leaving.

            It wasn’t easy, at least it wasn’t for Stiles. He hated the great United States when it came to his love life. Stiles was sitting on a couch big enough for two people, fiddling with a picture frame key chain, when Derek walks out of their bedroom  with a large faded green duffle and his military uniform.

 

            Sure Stiles loved the sight. Who didn’t like a man in uniform? Well, Stiles just wishes it didn’t mean Derek had to leave. Stiles wished the President would call and tell him that Derek can unpack and _stay._ But the likely hood of that happening is like asking Dean Winchester to give up hunting for good. Though he’d prefer that call more than waiting up all night, for _that_ call.

 

            Stiles heard Derek’s feet stop beside him. Stiles stared down at the picture on his key chain like it would save him from having to say ‘ _See you when you get back._ ’ Or  ’ _You be safe out there Derek Hale, Or I swear I’ll fly out there myself._ ’

 

            He knows its pointless.

 

            Just like he knows no matter how long he puts off saying those things, Derek would still have to leave. Derek is standing there, accepting and understanding. He knows how Stiles gets, he knows Stiles like he knows his family. Even if they were lovers, it didn’t matter, Stiles was as much a best friend to him as Laura was.

 

            “Stiles.” Derek’s voice is firm with a light tone of affection and adoration in it. Stiles hated this part.

 

            “I don’t want to have to say what I _have_ too here, Derek.” Stiles says gruffly, almost sarcastically, like he wanted to joke about it. “I don’t- I don’t want to-” Derek stops him, pulling him up by his arm tugging the slouching body that is Stiles.

 

            But Stiles refuses to look Derek in the eye. He refuses to acknowledge the fact that if he were to let go, he’d have to let go for _always_. Stiles tries to reason when Derek pushes his chin up, forcing him to face reality.

 

            Derek is _leaving._

            “They don’t even need you anymore. Why do you have to go? Do they spy on our lives and enjoy watching all of this? Do they get a sick kick out of watching me having to say _be careful, Derek. Don’t get hurt out there you hear me._ Do they just -” Stiles’ words stop short as Derek wraps his arms tightly around him.

 

            Stiles let himself drown within Derek. Because what did he have left. What more could they take from him?

 

            Derek slipped them apart and kissed his forehead, “I’m _always_ safe.” Derek says almost a whisper onto Stiles’ forehead. Stiles always expects Derek to say that, to assure him that he’d come home that he’d be there laying next to him when he’d least expect it. But Stiles knows better.

 

            They pull apart and Stiles keeps a tight hold on the key chain. Derek lifts his duffle from the ground and follows Stiles out the door of the Hale-Stilinski home. Stiles takes a deep breath as he hops in the driver seat of the Camaro. He watches Derek pull the passenger seat forward and deposit his duffle in the back seat.

 

            Derek catches Stiles’ stare, “I’m never late.”

 

            Stiles gives a wary smile. It almost falters when he lets the weight of the words sink in his heart. It’s another reassurance that Derek _always_ tells Stiles when he can see that Stiles just can’t take it.

 

            Derek is seating next to him. Breathing, warm and _l_ _iving._ But Stiles can feel the cold start to seep in. They get to the airport an hour too early, which means Stiles will wait there, there in the airport until Derek’s plane leaves. He’ll wait there until he’s escorted out by the janitor. Because maybe Stiles can’t force himself to leave, can’t force himself to turn his back. Or to look _away._

 

            They stand in silence in the bustling airport. Derek is greeted by some of his companions, fellow fighters. There are some that have wives and girlfriends and others with their families, smiling through those misty eyes. Stiles stands there wrapped in the safety, in the comfort and his entire world.

 

            “Talia said she’d meet us here.” Stiles whispers against Derek’s chest. Derek doesn’t move, he doesn’t shuffle his feet, Derek stands still with Stiles in his arms and he hums his agreement. “Are you looking for her?” Stiles asked burying his face further into Derek’s chest. Derek hummed again.

 

            Stiles knows how much Derek hates to talk when he has to leave, he doesn’t want to spend his time talking. He wants to feel, to _remember_. But he also knows that Stiles just can’t stop himself from talking.

 

            Talia shows up shortly after, followed by Laura, Cora, Nate, Peter, and Derek’s father George. Even when they showed up to hug him and wish him luck, Derek didn’t let go of Stiles.

 

            “Hi everyone.” Stiles’ voice was muffled by Derek’s uniform as he greeted all of them. They laughed, but something about it sounded sad and _off._

 

            “Hale!” Stiles knows that voice. He may hate it for many other reason, but today, today he hates it because that voice means it’s time for Derek to let go. “Time to go.” Jackson yells.

 

            Lydia must be here. She has to be, Stiles and Lydia have become closer since Stiles and Derek started dating.Since now they had a common ground. So it wasn’t a surprise when Derek finally said what he did for a living, Stiles just nodded and said “I _could_ care less. But since I like you so much, I’m just happy that you were honest enough and I didn’t have to assume all the time. Because Dude, you are so bad with words.” They didn’t talk about it. Not until Derek was deployed for the first time since they started their world together.

 

            Stiles really didn’t know how to feel then, it was bittersweet, but it never felt like _this._ It was a year of them spending almost every waking moment together. It was Stiles meeting Derek's giant family, it was Derek meeting the Sheriff, it was a life built on anxious energy. Because Stiles knew Derek would have to leave at some point.

 

             He never guessed that _this_ kiss Derek placed on his lips as he cupped his hands on his face, would mean ‘ _I’m going away now, be careful when I’m gone. My family is there for you, remember your father is there too. Remember you have friends, you have a support system. So don’t do what I know you are going to do anyway._ ’

 

              Most of all, ‘ _I love you._ ’

 

              Derek let’s his lips hover over Stiles’ a minute longer than kisses his forehead, “I love you.” He whispers so only Stiles hear him. “I love _you_ , big guy.” Stiles chokes back a sob.

 

              Derek lets him go and goes to hug his family. He tells them he loves them, that he’ll miss them, and to promise him that they’d look after Stiles while he’s gone. They promise, of course, they loved Stiles. Stiles loved them, but he loved and wanted Derek _more._

 

             Derek comes back to Stiles, sharing their fourth _last_ hug. “Don’t be stupid while I’m gone.” Derek says, almost like he wanted to joke. Stiles huffs as he pushes him away gently, “When am I ever stupid?” he says sarcastically. Derek looks down at him seriously, “You know what I mean.” He says.

 

            Stiles nods, because he does know what Derek means. Since they’ve been together Derek was shipped off three times. First time Derek left it was for a year, maybe. Stiles wasn’t really paying attention. Don’t get him wrong, he missed Derek, and he was completely head over heels for the guy. But he had work and other things to do.

 

            The second time was just a few months throughout the year. Spending a couple days with Stiles and his family, then leaving; it wasn’t hard, Stiles told himself that year that Derek would always come home. And he did. So what’s to say he won’t come home this time?

 

            Because this time when Derek got the call, he didn’t look sure. That’s what scares Stiles. Derek hugged him again, kissed him again, then left.

 

            Stiles followed him until he got to the boarding line, when he couldn’t see Derek anymore he made his way to the large glass wall, where he could see Derek boarding the plane. He paused for a second and looked right at Stiles, a smile on his lips and a small wave.

 

              Stiles put his hands on the glass and watched him disappear on to the plane. Stiles thinks about the night that Derek got the call.

 

_“No! Derek, I am warning you. If you can’t keep your hands to yourself I won’t feed you and I’ll tell Talia that you haven’t been behaving.” Stiles warns as he holds his stirring spoon as a weapon against Derek. Derek raises a questioning brow, “You’d tell my mother on me? Mature, Stiles. Real mature.” Stiles squeaks as Derek takes in him in his arms and heaves him over his shoulder._

_“Derek! I’m- Hey! Don’t touch there!- I’m serious Derek! I’ll call your mother.”Stiles is laughing now, enjoying Derek as much as possible, Derek plops him down on to their couch and hovers over him. Stiles holds his spoon firm in his hands and against his chest. “I will beat you . . . With my spoon.” Stiles says, trying hard to suppress his laughter._

_Derek shakes his head with a sly grin “You wouldn’t.”_

_“But I could! See that’s where you’re wrong, big guy. I’ve learned a few things from you, you see.”_

_“Oh really?” Derek says as he leans in closer and just as he’s about to plant a kiss on his lover's lips, the phone rings._

_“Oh god, it could be your mom.”_

_“You love my mother, don’t you? You sure do talk about her a lot.” Derek sighs with a smile, Stiles just laughs. Derek reaches over Stiles and picks up the house phone that Laura insisted they have once they’ve bought the house. Stiles' retort was they had cell phones and didn’t need one. But Laura came back with “Neither of you answer your damn phones.” So house phone it was._

_“Hale-Stilinski house ho-” Derek’s brows frown in that way that mean nothing good, “Yeah, alright. I’ll have someone call Whittemore and Argent. Yeah, so Friday. Alright. Thanks, bye.”_

_Stiles’ amused state drown as he realized what that call was. “Damn it.” Derek curses quietly as he puts the phone back. He sighs heavily and sits himself up. Stiles follows suit. They sit there in silence for a few moments until Stiles can’t take it._

_“You have to leave?” Stiles asks pensively. Derek looks at him and sighs again, “Yeah.”_

             “Stiles, sweetheart.” Talia’s sweet voice brings him back from his memory. He blinks a few times, the plane is gone, most of the families are gone too. “I’m sure you don’t want to leave here, but I made a promise.”

 

              Every time Derek leaves, Stiles just wants to hide in a hole until Derek comes back. But Talia did make a promise and as stubborn as Stiles wants to be, he doesn’t have the fight in him, not today.

 

               Stiles let himself be lead out to the Camaro, he said his goodbyes to the Hale family that showed up. And sat in the Camaro for awhile, he wanted to cry, he wanted to shout and scream as loud as he could. But he wasn’t going to.

 

               The drive back to their home was long, Stiles decided he wanted to take the long way around. It was better than coming home to emptiness. He could feel everything, it isn’t like grieving, no, this is worse. When someone grieves they miss and they wish they had them again, they try to fill the void that would always be there. Here, Stiles wishes he could keep Derek home, Derek was alive, warm, safety and _Home,_  but he wasn't around.

 

                Here was Stiles, now parked in his driveway, keys in hand and he just sits there in the driver seat. Flashing back to when Derek first let Stiles drive the Camaro. He laughed weakly as he stared down at picture on his key chain.

 

                Derek had no idea that Stiles had taken that picture. Derek was sleeping on their living room couch, they’d had just finished moving all the boxes out of George’s truck and the moving truck. The couch was the first to be brought in and Derek was the first to nap after they were done hauling boxes.

 

                Stiles sighed and made his way out of the car and into his home. Stiles didn’t bother turning on any lights, he wouldn’t need them anyway. He went to his bedroom and grabbed Derek’s Pjs and slipped into them after undressing.

 

                 He plopped down on the bed that is now way too big for his taste and falls asleep.  It doesn’t take long until Stiles is suddenly awake, gasping for air and calling out for Derek. But when no one answers his breathing sharpens and almost feels like his chest is collapsing within itself. He tries his hardest to calm down, it takes him a few minutes to get his breathing in check, “Shit.” Stiles whispers


	2. Best Friends and Awesome Dads

            Lydia is always the first to kick Stiles out of bed, well she doesn't really kick him out, she just shows up. All since Stiles spent the first three days trying to cope with having to fill his time with something that isn't Derek. Lydia burst through his door with groceries bags on each arm. They don't say a word to each other, Lydia knows better. Stiles sometimes regrets letting her have a house key.

  
  
            Lydia turns on all the house lights, including the one in his bedroom that to Stiles seemed completely pointless. She sets her battlefield in the kitchen where she starts making little too loud noises. Some of it pointless, like little kicks at cabinets or the slamming of dishes, all to make sure Stiles knows she's there if he needs her.

  
            Stiles just tugs his blanket from his bedroom and heaves it to the living so he can at least listen to Lydia hum and mumble to herself while she cooks. Lydia has been a military wife longer than Stiles and Derek have been together, thus she's always over when Derek and Jackson are pulled in for duty.

  
            Stiles doesn't talk. Not because he doesn't want too(mostly) but because the last three nights he spent with panic attack after panic attack, so his voice is all little jacked up.

  
            When Lydia is done she coughs fakely to let Stiles know the food is ready. Stiles sighs and stands up, when he enters the kitchen though, he has to swallow past the lump in his throat. The kitchen smelled like there was some actually living there.

  
            Lydia watched him take a shaky step to the dining table where Stiles always sits with his back away from the door. A trait he picked up from Derek. Though Derek hated having his back to anything, he'd force Stiles to sit against the wall. A code of honor, Lydia informed him once; Jackson does it to her all the time.

  
            They eat in peace for about ten minutes before Stiles starts sobbing. No real tears, just him hiccupping and taking short, shallow breathes as he ate. Lydia let him sob, she's told him once that she remembers the first time Jackson was deployed, she acted the same way. Only she didn't really have anyone to kick her our of their bedroom and force her to eat. Not until a year or so later when she reunited with Erica.

  
            Stiles looks down at his empty plate and takes a deep breath. "Thanks Lyds." Stiles says rather raspy and gruff. Lydia smiles brightly and starts cleaning up, Stiles would protest, but he knows she's beat him down until he'd let her do it.

  
            They sat there on the couch, Lydia brought her Pjs and camped out in the living room with Stiles. They decided to have an Iron Man marathon, which was great because who doesn't want to see all the horrible things that can happen to their spouses. Well Lydia's spouse, and Stiles' boyfriend.

  
            "Has he asked you to marry him yet?" Lydia asks as she takes a few pieces of popcorn into her mouth. Stiles gives a weak laugh and shakes his head "I've asked him, hell I even sang Single Ladies to him." Lydia stared at him blankly for a moment. Stiles stared right back and said "I told him if he liked it he should put a ring on it."

  
            Lydia cringed so hard that Stiles feared for the well being of his popcorn bowl that she cradled on her lap. "That's gross and TMI on so many levels."

  
            Stiles laughs hard and long, like he does when Derek thinks he's being sneaky trying to cop-a-feel while Stiles is pretending to be asleep.

  
            Laughter subdued, they continue watching the movie in silence, occasionally adding comments about Roberts hair or his eyes and Robert himself knows he's a sexy beast and just takes in the glory that everyone feeds him, But otherwise quite.

  
            Their five minutes into the second movie when Stiles' phone rings. His heart almost stops as he stares at it from where he's sitting. Lydia stares at him then pushes his shoulder gently. "Its too early." She whispers, Stiles knows what she means, be its to early for That call or too early for Derek's call.

  
            Derek's calls always came at the end of the week, like clock-work, sometimes he'd call every weekend and talk to stiles every night until Monday. But now that they don't know what could be happening over on their end, it was never Too Early.

  
            Stiles picked up his phone and was greeted by a familiar voice, "Stiles, bro, I heard about Derek, Allison was deployed Friday and I wasn't able to call you. But I’m calling now so My best friend star should still be there." Scott's voice to Stiles was like listening to his heart and he ached for home and comfort.

  
            "Yeah dude, Its rough, Derek left Friday morning too, uh Lydia's here, she making sure I'm fed and whatever. Yeah, your best friend star is totally still there." Stiles tries to laugh but it comes out as a choked out sob.

  
            If Scott heard it, he didn't mention it, "I'll be heading home for the winter break so we can pig out on junk food and whatever. Play some video games, I could crash at your place, since you love me." Scott promised, Stiles felt his heart swell "Yeah that'd be great, Dude. Glad to know you are flunking out of Vet school. You know Melissa misses you, don’t make her cry by staying with me." Stiles does laugh this time.

  
            They share their goodbyes and Stiles returns to watching the movie. He and Lydia end up asleep on the living room floor before the movie ends.

  
            Waking up was the hard part. Stiles doesn't remember what it was like to wake up alone. He's spent three of the best years with Derek, getting to know him, feeling him, and just seeing him, that Stiles _just doesn't_ remember what it’s like to be alone.

  
            That's when he remembers Lydia is there beside him, clinging to a pillow like it was her life line. Stiles sat up with a cramp in his neck and sore muscles from sleeping on the floor. He looks around and before he can ask, he hears Lydia sob.

 

             It doesn’t matter how strong you make yourself for someone else, your own wanting and yearning is still there. Lydia cried in her sleep, Stiles didn’t want to wake her, because she didn’t wake him when he was crying. It’s better to cry while asleep then during the day when everyone expects you to smile and be brave and have a strong front because you are a military wife or husband or girlfriend ECT.

 

            Stiles gets up as quietly as he can, he walks into his kitchen, expecting the coffee to be on, but it’s not. Just another remind that Derek isn’t here. Stiles cries over that for a good hour, so he avoids his kitchen today. He heads into his bedroom when his house phone rings. He picks the one that’s set up on Derek’s side of the bed.

 

            “Hale-Stilinski Home.” He answers.

 

             “ _Son_ ,” It almost hurts to hear his Dad call, “ _I didn’t think you’d be awake, I was going to leave a message._ ” John tries to joke, give a little huff of laughter and Stiles can feel a smile work on his lips.

 

             “Well you got me instead. What’s up Old man?” Stiles humors his father. Stiles never wants to burden his Dad they way he always felt he did. He hears John laugh again, “ _The day you have children and they call you old man, you’ll feel my pain._ ”

 

              It was like stepping back into the veil of missing and yearning at the mention of children, and family. “Uh, I doubt my kids will ever call me old man, Old man.” Stiles tries to joke. “ _I- Stiles, I’ll be over later tonight. Tell Lydia she can leave and bring some more clothes a little before I get there._ ” He tells him.

 

              “Yeah, I don’t think she’ll want to leave, she has a duffle with her.” Stiles looks out into the living room where Lydia was already up and scrolling through his Netflix. John huffs like he knows what Stiles means. “ _I’ll bring something over._ ” John says.

 

               “Dad, you don’t have to do that, Lydia’s already brought enough groceries to last me four months.”

 

               “ _I’m your father Stiles, I’ll bring something if I please._ ”

 

               Stiles sighs and agrees, who is he to deny food offerings? “ _Do you have a lecture today?_ ” he asked. Stiles wishes he did, “No, I, uh they told me to come back when I’m ready. They gave me the number of the substitute Friday morning.”

 

                Stiles hears John sigh, almost like he didn’t expect it. John, just like Stiles, knows it be better for him to go back and do something productive. If they tell him _when he’s ready_ he’ll never show up. They agree on a time then say their goodbyes. Stiles finally stares at the empty bedroom.

 

_“Derek you have to get up, come oooooooon.” Stiles sings on Derek’s shoulder. Derek grumbles and wraps Stiles in his arms, “You’re worse than an alarm clock.” Stiles giggles as he takes a nip out of Derek’s chest, even if Derek’s chest and his arm were Stiles’ favorite place, he did want to get up and have Derek drive him to work._

_“You love me anyway.” Derek gives a low affectionate growl, “Do you have to call in today?” Derek asks finally opening his eyes and looking down at Stiles. Stiles gives him a cheeky smile as he rests his chin on Derek’s pectoral._

_“Yes I have to, Clare can cover for me for the fifth time this week.” Stiles says, Derek gives a small noise in protest and huddles Stiles for morning sexy times._

                Stiles weeps a little, Lydia walks in and hugs him. “I don’t think I can come into the bedroom either.” Stiles embraces Lydia, because they both can’t be in any room without each other there to stop the fallout.

 

               The day just slows itself into night time, Stiles and Lydia ghosting the house, not really taking part in living, just being there is enough for them. The Sheriff shows up a quarter to seven.

 

                “I figured neither of you have eaten and I’m not usually the best cook. So I brought food from the small Italians place down the road.” John smiled, he walked in and watched the two carefully, John has seen Stiles like this before, he just wishes there was something he could do to make it better.

 

                  They sit down in the living room, Lydia and Stiles agreeing that they couldn’t go into the kitchen, and watched _I.T. Crowd_. Laughing quietly and smiling every now and then, John didn’t understand the show or how it was funny, but when he caught Stiles laugh and reach for his arm he’d smile too.

 

                   Stiles home phone rang, all three of them stared at it, “I’ll get it.” John said as he hauled himself up and over to get the phone.

 

                   “Hello?” John answers, Stiles watches his father’s face carefully, “Yeah, he’s pretty out of, he’s been moping since Friday.” John says with a glance at Stiles.

 

                   “I’ll pass the phone to him.” He says with a smile. Stiles reaches for the phone and expects to hear Talia on the other end. What he hears is more than what he expects.

 

                    “ _Stiles._ ” Derek’s voice is soft and affectionate, “ _I thought I told you not to be stupid._ ” Stiles is running to his bedroom without thinking. His curling himself in  on their bed and just weeps, its only been three days and he wasn’t expecting a call from him (Shut up, he’s running on three hours of sleep.) “It’s hard not to be when I don’t have a direction to go in.” Stiles sobs with a smile on his lips.

 

                   “ _You had work today._ ”

 

                   “They told me not to go in.”

 

                   “ _But you know better._ ”

 

                    “I don’t.”

 

                    “ _Stiles._ ” Derek’s voice is now firm, Stiles does know better, but he doesn’t do what he knows. He hears Derek sigh, but he isn’t frustrated, he can feel that much. “ _I miss you._ ” Derek says almost a whisper.

 

                    “I miss _you_ , sourwolf.”

 

                     “ _Promise me you’ll go into to work tomorrow._ ” Stiles sighs and agrees, because he doesn’t want Derek to worry, doesn’t want him feel Stiles hurt anymore. “ _They say we’ll head home in two months. There wasn’t much for us when we arrived._ ” Two months, that was what Stiles could hold on too. He knows that it probably doesn’t mean much, but two months to Stiles was a time frame he can count.

 

                    “Will Allison and Jackson come back too?”

 

                    “ _Yeah._ ”

 

                    “You’ll be home before Christmas.” Stiles let’s the joy of having Derek him for the holidays flood him, now Stiles has the push to keep going.


	3. The middle of December

            It’s Saturday and Stiles is hanging around the hospital, because he’s agreed to do something he doesn’t remember agreeing too, but Scott was there and so was Lydia, so it was alright. Stiles has been keeping himself busy with work, well that is he kept busy until winter break was announced and Stiles had to find other means of distractions (Well that explains what he’s doing here.)

 

           “Stiles, are you ready?” Scott slaps a hand to Stiles’ shoulder, a little too powerful, Stiles just holds his shoulder with a painful expression.

 

           “Ouch. I think you forget that I’m still human, Scott.” Stiles jokes and Scott just shakes his head with a smile, hands him a basket  with a list and some bears. They were visiting the cancer ward of the hospital, and as much as Stiles hated being anywhere near the hospital in general, he’d do it for the kids. “Seriously, just because your all wolfy and powerful does not mean I can handle your over excited ass.” Stiles adds with a little more sarcasm then he meant, but Scott gets it, gets him.

 

           They stop into the rooms and say hi to the kids, they give them anything from stuffed bears to things that almost look like teething rings, but their really fun to play with—totally not because Stiles has played with them or anything.

 

          “Hi.” Scott says as he walks into one room, the girl beams up at him, she makes grabby hands at him, and Stiles knows this girl, her names Lizbeth, she’s eleven and her cancer isn’t getting better. Scott sings for her almost every day, he also plays his guitar for her.

 

          Lizbeth as dubbed Scott her favorite because of reasons; and that’s fine by Stiles. Stiles walks down the hall and looks down at his list, their the room’s his been assigned too, and most of the kids Stiles knows well, he’s visited this ward—despite not wanting too—to hang out with the kids, be remembers what it was like to be the only kid with a sick mom in bed. So he wants to change their days if only for a little while.

 

          Stiles has room one-forty-five, Stiles stops just before he opens the door and takes a deep breath, gathering what he has for a smile. He pushes the door open and Ben, the ten year old boy is sitting there looking out his window. “Hey.” Stiles says his smile softening around the edges. Ben looks away from the window and smiles weakly back at Stiles. His heart down right drops into his stomach.

 

         “Mister Stiles.” Ben wiggles in place and Stiles nods and heads over to him.

 

        “Hi, Ben. How’ve you been? Been staying out of trouble?” Stiles sits on the bed next to him and wiggles a brow, Ben giggles and shuffles under his sheets.

 

        “I’m always good.” He replies.

 

        “Is that so? I heard from Miss McCall that you frown just the other day. What was that about?” Stiles reaches into his basket and pulls out a stuffed bear. Ben sinks a little, almost like he was caught with his hand in a cookie jar.

 

        “I was a little sad.” Ben answers, “My head was hurting and so were my legs.” Ben averts his eyes and looks anywhere but Stiles, Stiles wiggled the teddy bear close to Ben.

 

        “There’s no reason to be sad, you’re a strong trooper. My favorite, you know.” Stiles admits to him. Ben snaps up and looks him with wide doe eyes.

 

        “More than Scott?” he asks.

 

        Stiles laughs and wraps his arm around Ben leaning down to his ear, “Don’t tell him I said so.” Ben out right giggles into Stiles’ chest taking the teddy bear in his arms and holding tightly.

 

        “What about mister Hale?” Ben asks. Stiles hides how his breath caught in his throat and gives Ben a soft but wary smile.

 

        “He’s my one and only, Ben. But you’re my favorite. You know how jealous mister Hale is.” Ben nods frantically up at him, Stiles huffed and gave Ben one last hug. “Okay, I have to go, but remember, you’re my favorite.”

 

        “I will!” Ben beams at him. Stiles leaves the room with a heavy heart, it’s a week or so before Christmas and Stiles remembers the conversation he had with Derek just a few nights ago. It was a little burn in his soul, he knows he might not take to werewolf bonding like, well a werewolf pair. But the bond is there, it isn’t as strong for Stiles as it is for Derek, but it’s still there.

 

        Scott meets him before his next room, and hugs him, because he must smell all the emotion that Stiles is practically throwing up. “You got it, bro.” Scott whispers before pushing him along to the next rooms.

 

        They get down by mid-day and Lydia has announced that the three of them need to go meet up with Mrs. Reyes and Mister Lahey. Why she doesn’t call them by their names Stiles will never know.

 

        Erica Reyes, girlfriend to Derek’s Scott, Vernon. But they all call him Boyd, because, well Stiles really doesn’t know why. They all met Erica in high school, but she moved away after graduating, Stiles remembers meeting Boyd. It was on one of the many Dates where Derek wanted to wine and dine Stiles, but all he really did was take him to a movie and buy him ice cream.

 

        Isaac, was Erica’s adoptive twin, they were adorable and Stiles remembers how red Isaac got when Jackson best friend Danny was hitting on him. The whole table was quietly watching as Danny tried to get Isaac’s attentions. Boyd at one point just blurted out that Isaac wasn’t going to put out for anyone, and like that Isaac’s already red cheeks where burning.

 

        So they do, they meet both Isaac and Erica in town at a small coffee shop, Erica greets everyone with a smile and a tight hug, Isaac shakes hands and smiles bashfully. Stiles doesn’t think in the few years that he’s seen Isaac, Danny has no affect in Isaac’s innocence. Which, well it’s a good thing, considering it was Danny that forced Stiles to a night club where he met Derek. So Danny wasn’t so bad.

 

        “We should really be TLC’s Military partners. We need that show.” Erica announces as she heads into the shop next to Lydia, Stiles rolls his eyes and hold the door for them.

 

        “If we had that show, we all know why people would watch it.” Stiles deadpans.

 

        “Isaac’s puppy eyes.” Scott adds.

 

        Everyone sort of freezes and Scott looks at everyone, “What? This kid’s like innocence to the max.” Scott shrugs. Stiles pushes him through the door and head in with them.

 

        “Only you, Scott. Only you.” Stiles says as he leans against him. They order their coffee and head back out to the small tables and just sit around each other.

 

         Erica talks about her flower shop and how she’s always looking for extra help, Isaac is talking about the college classes he decided would be a good idea to start so he’d be about to get his degree in vet care. Lydia talked about the law firm and how annoying the big and rich were. Scott said something about a song he was working on and Stiles was a miles away from everyone, thinking about stopping his work at the school and maybe opening up a small bakery, he’s mom loved bakes goods, she used to hang around the kitchen all the time making all kinds of pastries. Stiles thinks it a good idea. He’d had something to keep his min-

 

        “Stiles.” Lydia’s hand touches his wrist and he blinks down at her.

 

        “Yeah?” He asks looking at everyone’s questioning looks at him.

 

        “You okay? You left us for a second.” She tells him, letting her hand linger a little longer than she needed too. Stiles offers her a smile and a nod.

 

        “I was thinking about opening up a bakery.” He tells her, Erica coos and leans forward in her chair in excited glee.

 

        “Oh! There’s this big open building for sell next to my flower shop. It’s right in the nook of town and the sun almost always shines there.” Erica informs him, “You and I can go take a look at it if you like.”

 

        Stiles smiles at her, “That would be a great idea, we can go tomorrow.” He tells her, Scott pets his shoulder and gives him the goofiest grin Stiles has ever seen.

 

        “What about the school?” Isaac asks shifting a little in his seat, Isaac’s always been a little sheepish, even for a werewolf.

 

        “There’s always more teachers out there. I’m sure they won’t miss me.” It was true, it isn't the first time that Stiles though about the bakery. He's talked about a lot with Derek, and Derek would smile and tell him ' _whatever you want, Babe._ ' and it was sweet at the time, still is. But Stiles really does want a bakery. They finish their talks and coffee and Erica promises to call tomorrow with the details and see if the previous owner was available for a meet and greet or whatever. Stiles heads home and props his laptop open, he starts up Netflix on his Xbox and watches Supernatural until he hears the familiar ringing of a Skype call. Stiles answers and just sighs with a smile.

 

       “ _You don’t understand how great it is too see you._ ” Derek’s voice is heavy and tired. Stiles just giggles to himself and leans forward just slightly.

 

       “Well I am a prize to be hold, you had such a hard time keeping your hands off me when we first met.” Stiles laughed as soon as Derek scowled at him.

 

        “ _You know what I mean._ ” Derek sighs.

 

        “I miss you, big guy.” Stiles says a little shaky.

 

        Derek hums with a small nod “ _I miss you. I should be back the twenty-third, and if I’m not, I swear I will kill Jackson where he stands._ ”

 

        “ _I can hear you Hale!_ ”

 

        Stiles burst out laughing because of course Jackson can hear him, their all in the same unit because of their werewolf-iness. “ _There it is._ ” Derek chuckles.

 

        Stiles simmers down and gave Derek a confused look, “What?” Stiles asks.

 

       “ _Your smile, and laugh._ ” Derek says with a soft smile. Stiles rolls his eyes, Derek is a giant puppy, that’s what he is.

 

       “Whatever, you sap. Oh, which reminds me.” Stiles fiddles with a pen in his hand, “I was with Erica today, and remember when I told you I wanted to open up a bakery?”

 

         “ _Yeah. You said it would be the bees-knees._ ” Derek jokes.

 

      Stiles groans “I was being serious. Anyway, there’s a building next to Erica’s flower shop that has been vacant, and it’s up for sell.” Stiles says a little warily, watching Derek carefully.

 

          “ _Okay, you going to go look at it? Send pictures, even if I trust Erica, I still would like to see. Though I’d like to be there in person, but well-_ ”

 

         “No, yeah. I get it. But, uh Your okay with it? Whole bakery idea?” Stiles asks, there was a slight shrug in Derek’s shoulders and he leaned back in his chair.

  

         “ _I’m okay with it if it makes you happy. I’m sure Mom will be willing to help. Don’t let Laura anywhere near the place._ ” Derek warns in the last bit, Stiles doesn’t stop his laughing, because its just like Derek to still want Stiles happy and not care about anything else.

 

        “I love you.” Stiles says, because he honestly does, Derek smiles bright and warm.

 

       “ _I love you. I'll be home soon._ ” Stiles nods and smiles at him until the screen goes dark. He falls asleep on the couch while watching Derek's favorite show,  _Sherlock._


	4. What's Christmas without you

                    It’s Christmas Eve and Stiles is utterly upset. He’d gotten a call from Derek, stating that he couldn’t be home for Christmas. Derek was supposed to fly in yesterday night, he was supposed to be here sitting next to Stiles and watch some really bad daytime television and put up lights. Derek was supposed to be here leaning against the kitchen island and eat all the cookies that Stiles baked for their family and friends. Derek was supposed to be there next to Stiles in a dazedly state of half awake-ness cooing quietly at how stupid their morning hair looks. Derek was supposed to be _here_.

 

                But, he’s not.

 

               Derek has always been home for the holidays, but Stiles just assumes that they are really watching his life and getting a sick kick out of watching him cry because Derek said; “ _Stiles. I can’t come home yet. They need me for another few days._ ”

 

             Yeah, Stiles gets it. Stiles chose this life; Stiles _chose_ to be with Derek. Stiles loves Derek like Stiles loved his mother. And if that means Stiles has to be strong, and go through this holiday without Derek, then so be it. He’ll just cry in his bedroom for awhile.

 

              Erica stops by and hands him the papers for the new bakery, it was a few days before Derek’s call that Stiles decided he wanted the building; Talia agreed she’d help and promised she wouldn’t tell Derek that Laura help with the paints and decorations.

 

              “Stiles, sweetheart.” Erica calls, as she walks in, Stiles is in his bedroom, he quickly wipes his eyes and heads out to the living room to see her. He smiles and sniffles just a little. Erica tilts her head and gives him this total mom smile with her eyebrows rising in the center with a soft smile on her red lips, she knows Stiles has been crying, even if he didn't look it, Erica is a werewolf she could easily smell it on him, his saddness.

 

             “Hi, hey. What’s up? You have the papers?” Stiles asked in a rush as he came into the living room.

 

             “Yeah, but- Stiles are you okay?” She asks. Stiles takes a minute to think about it, because physically he’s okay, he might feel a little sick after the call, but he’s okay. Emotionally, he might want to rip everything apart then cry about the mess later. Because he'd have to clean it up himself, and he just didn't want to pick up after what he knows would be a temper tantrum.

 

              “Yeah, I’m fine, totally okay. Everythings good.” Stiles gives a smile that hurts a little, he shoves his hands into his pockets and shrugs, Erica sighs and gives one nod, they all know what its like and know when someone doesn’t want to talk about what hurts, so generally they leave it alone. Stiles remembers one deploment when he went to visit Lydia and she'd been crying, her and Stiles being the only humans in their group of friends, Stiles didn't see how she'd been so torn up at just being alone. it wasn't until Stiles came in that Lydia started to cry and just hold on to him. They didn't talk about it, because why do you want to acknowledge that something hurts when you can ignore it and move on as best you can.

 

              “Mr. Hiddles says the place is all yours.” Erica smiles and hands Stiles the papers. Stiles takes them and flails a little excitedly, because _yes! He has the building!_

               “This is great! Awesome, okay. Wait, shit, I need to- fuck, I have to call Miss Hale, I have to call Laura, and I have to tell them that we need to start getting the design going, we also need to call Der-” Stiles pauses, he did call Derek. Derek _called_ him and told him he couldn’t be home for Christmas.

 

              “Stiles?” Erica reaches a hand out to his shoulder and he feels a little distant. He doesn’t feel like he’s there, almost like he’s watching form somewhere else in the room.

 

               “Uh, sorry. This is great, Erica. I’ve got to call up Talia and write in my resignation to the school-” Stiles’ talking gets pulled off as Erica hauls him into a hug, the hug almost feels foreign, and Stiles is a huggy person and he doesn’t understand why it feels so strange. So when Erica has him wrapped up in a warm embrace it’s almost like Stiles feels compelled to cry.

 

               “He’ll be home.” She whispers, Stiles hugs her tight and just nods one shaky nod. Because he knows Derek will be home, he just won’t be home for the holidays which is a big deal. Derek has always been home for the holidays. The holidays were something that Derek took seriously, because he loved his family, he loved Stiles, and Stiles can only imagine how much it hurts Derek that he can't be home, where he's safe. 

 

               Erica leaves shortly after. She just gives him a pat on the cheek and a smile. He’s left alone to look over the floor plan of the building, he’s sent pictures to Derek of the whole building and Derek called telling him it looked like a good place, but he wanted to be there to take a look at all the structural whatever’s. Stiles simply told Derek that every time he talks about it Stiles get’s the shivers.

 

               Because when Derek talks about it, means that Derek’s serious, and if Derek’s serious about it; well that means that Derek will at one point in the future be sweaty and shirtless inside that building tearing down or building up some wall. That means all really good things for Stiles. He doesn’t care how long he’s been with Derek, the man is like only muscle and its near impossible for Stiles to keep his hands to himself, almost like when they first bought their home, that was a good four days for Stiles. There are two wildly known facts about Derek; One, he’s incredibly hot. Two, he’s in love with Stiles’ smart _ass_ -ness . . . and you know, his _ass_.

 

               “Yo!” Scott’s voice fills the air in his happy attitude, Stiles wants to throw something at him just because he feels in the right to do so, because fuck Scott's happy attitude today, but thinks against it. Scott walks into the kitchen and looks over the image, Stiles and papers scattered across the table, fabrics and images of couches and coffee makers. Scott raises a brow with a small grin on his lips.

 

               “Oh shut up.” Stiles narrows his eyes and goes back to looking at the wall patterns, “I have to at least get a feel for what I want this place to look like. And I’m running on no food and no coffee.” Stiles groans as he shifts forward to reach for a piece of paper, because they are always out of his reach. At least the ones that he wants. Well isn't that just ironic.

 

                Scott pulls the paper into his grasp and sets down a paper coffee cup and a sub, Stiles gives the treats a look before he hugs Scott's waist, "Have I told you how much I love you, and how good of a best friend you are? Because you are, you know, the best of the best." Stiles says, he hears Scott chuckle and pet his head.

 

                "I'm only the best because I know you like I know the back of my hand." Scott answers, then promptly looks at the back of his hand, Stiles releases Scott's waist in favor of drinking the sweet contents of his coffee cup. "I don't remember that being there." Scott says, Stiles looks up from his cup and see's Scott's brows frowned and worriedly examining his hand.

 

                Stiles raises a brow and after a moments of confusing silence, Scott starts smilig, "I'm just kidding." he slaps Stiles' shoulder playfully and Stiles takes a second to realize what Scott was doing.

 

                      "You my friend are the goofiest person I could've picked as a friend. Geez what the hell was I thinking?" Stiles rips open the plastic of the sub apart, because he's hungry and this sub was mocking him. Scott from behind him laughs and rustles around the kitchen.

 

                      "You were thinking that I had the coolest crayons in the whole playground. Either that your you'd get stuck with Greenburg." They both make a painful groaing noise, Stiles doesn't have to turn around to know his best friend shivered with him.

 

                        "I don't even want to think about it." Stiles laughs and takes a bite of his sub. They spend the rest of the afternoon talking about the Bakery and what exactly Stiles wanted it too look like, Stiles was tired enough by mid-afternoon, Scott lead him to his bedroom, to where Stiles refused to sleep. Scott didn't question him and just set him on the couch, Scott left shortly after, promising he'd be back before his shift with Deaton to make sure Stiles had gotten up. Stiles just sighs and agrees with Scott, because how else was Stiles supposed to function?

 

                       For now, Stiles just sleeps, and hopes that if he dreams he'd have Derek home in his arms. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo I was having some feels the other day about this very thing. I'm sure I'm off on a lot of things, so I'm sorry in advance to those who have to go through this. Um, anyway, I really didn't know that I wanted to make it a multiple chapter, but we'll see where that goes. So Uh, I hope this was good. And Sorry again for the things that I got wrong.


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